Pathological Demand Avoidance, or some use the more polite sounding Persistent Drive for Autonomy, is a profile of the Autism spectrum. It is characterized by a strong resistance to everyday demands and expectations, and constant anxiety and fear over losing autonomy. PDAers struggle with almost any request or perceived demand, even when they may actually want to to the thing. Physiologically, they often times live in a state of fight or flight, so accomplishing basic daily tasks can be really difficult.
This is not a widely known or discussed profile on the spectrum, so here are some of my favorite resources for more information on the subject. I only recommend resources that I have personally used and gained insight from. Do you have any books, podcasts, websites, groups that you would recommend? I’d love to hear about them!
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Books
Navigating PDA in America Navigating PDA in America by Ruth Fidler and Diane Gould
This neurodiversity affirming read offers such clarity in its description of PDA and the realities and challenges that PDAers face. I highly recommend as a starting place if you are brand new to PDA.
The PDA Paradox by Harry Thompson
A witty and honest first hand account of an adult PDAer who was diagnosed in his teens. I thoroughly enjoyed this memoir and the opportunity to hear about life though the eyes of someone who has lived it and articulates his experiences so vividly and with such humor.
The Explosive Child by Ross Greene
Dr. Ross Greene coined the phrase “kids do well when they can”, and his collaborative approach to teaching kids the coping, adapting, and problem solving skills they lack is based in scientific research. If, like me, you have tried all of the traditional parenting methods to influence behavior to no avail, this read is validating and offers a new approach.
Differently Wired by Deborah Reber
Deborah Reber is the founder of Tilt Parenting, a wonderfully inclusive community offering courses, podcasts, and a parenting club. Hers was the first book I read early on in my journey that truly spoke to what I was going through and made me feel less alone. Her strength-based perspective is empowering and refreshing.