Relief.
That’s my primary emotion at both the beginning and the end of any school year. When the year is finished it is a relief that he made it through. That mornings can be relaxed and not daily battles about putting on shoes or getting dressed or heading out the door. By the time fall rolls around I am relieved to have some sense of autonomy back in my days, as I’m burnt out from accommodating his all summer.
My kid is sad and that makes me happy. I said it. My kid is sad that his second grade school year has ended, he is genuinely upset about it. He is very sad that he will not have his beloved teacher again next year, and that his favorite guidance counselor and IEP case manager are both leaving his school next year. This could not be more different than this time last year. He had a terrible first grade year and even though summers can be hard and frustrating, I was grateful to have a reprieve from envelopes being sent home that said “To the Parents of ______”. This year he had a third the number of incident reports as he had the previous year, which may not sound like a bragging point to parents living that neurotypical life. Back in September at Back to School night the administrators gave their usual beginning-of-the-school-year presentation, included in which was a school-wide goal to increase positive behaviors and decrease incident reports by 10%. After completing my mental math involving the number of incident reports that were sent home to us during his first grade year, I realized that Ninja accounted for about 9% of that school wide total. So essentially if my single child could get his shit together, in theory the school would meet it’s goal. Neat.
Having his new IEP in place made a world of difference. Getting the support he needed from adults that he genuinely connected with was a game changer. I am not naive enough to think he will ever become one of those kids that LIKES school, and we realize realistically that the structure and expectations of it will always be a challenge for him. But perhaps we’ve turned a very small corner. A year ago at this time I could never have imagined a future where Ninja was sad about school ending. Now I am so very thankful that he is.
Now we can carry on celebrating our made-up holidays. Ninja can declare a day or week or month to be a holiday out of the blue and with no warning, which leads to some confusion on my part about what constitutes a proper celebration. For example, on the first full day of summer vacation last year, he declared it to be Child’s Day. Child’s Day is a special day when children get to choose their activities all day long. Apparently the holiday is in honor of the first child ever born, a boy named Sam Briglington born in South Carolina 500 years ago. Another holiday is July fools. It’s just like April Fools, but is much hotter and inexplicably lasts the entire month. Many of his stuffies seem to have multiple birthdays each that require random food items of sorts, and the dogs birthday has an entire week marked off on the calendar. He really should be employed by whichever governing body is in charge of made up irrelevant holidays like Talk Like a Pirate Day and National Selfie Day. Have you ever looked at one of those calendars that lists all of the days? I could really get behind Sustainable Gastronomy Day (June 18), Take Your Dog To Work Day (June 20), and Wonderful Weirdos Day (September 9), but they honestly could use some marketing help. If getting people hyped about made-up holidays or scenarios is a career option, Ninja may have stumbled upon his calling. I’m eaer to learn what new celebrations will come down the pipeline this summer.
Today marks his first day of a two-week camp session, for which he is impossibly excited. Our only other attempt at camp came two years ago when he was 5. The twat waffle of a camp director kicked him out the second day, demanding I pick him up immediately and spewed off everything she didn’t like about him (not specific behaviors or incidences that led to that decision, mind you) after pointing her fat finger in his face and shaming him. That really stuck with him. He keeps asking over and over if he is going to get kicked out of the new camp and honestly it breaks my heart. This camp is specifically for kids across the entire spectrum, so I’m happy knowing he’s going to a place where they will embrace him for who he is. I asked him which part of camp he is most excited about, and it turns out he is hoping to meet a nice girl and get engaged. After that, music and then art. That is all very on brand.
I’ll keep you updated on whether I am going to become a mother-in-law.
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